Seeing Green

I am the kind of person who is always doing, going, moving, accomplishing... (etc. I could go on forever). Somewhere along the line over the past 22 years, I created this idea in my head that worth = productivity.  It's not my fault; our entire society is sort of constructed based on this idea. The man wants us to work, stay busy, keep occupied so we stay out of trouble (is that too much of a conspiracy? Sometimes I feel like Steven Hyde from That 70's Show). The pandemic has completely shifted this view for me. It has allowed me to slow down and think more about what I really want instead of just blindly trying to accomplish things that don't end up meaning very much to me in the end.  The only problem is that even though I KNOW deep down that my worth is NOT equal to my productivity or what I accomplish, I can't turn off that controlling part of my brain that wants MORE MORE MORE. I keep trying to map out my future and all of the things (I think) I want to do while I...

It's okay to not Have everything figured out Things will come in time

Written in Dec. 2018 Long and laborious days are not the only challenge that agriculturists, particularly those who work with cattle, are confronting in the farming world. The increasingly intense debate on the negative effects of methane gas produced by cows on a changing climate have led to trends of activism against dairy farming, but, as indicated by University of New Hampshire Dairy Club president Jessica Sexton, this countermovement may be based on misinformation.   According to Sexton, many people’s thoughts about methane gas production by cattle are misconceptions. She said that a lot of movies use ancient statistics from before people knew what they were doing and knew how to farm in the most efficient way possible.   “Now animal agriculture in the United States only contributes to [a low percentage] of greenhouse gases, so when people are trying to blame agriculture, it’s just not what’s causing a lot of these issues.”   Peter Erickson, professor of dairy manage...

1/12/2020   Kenneth Hanson was born in York, North Dakota on January 18, 1929. The following is a short memoir by Ken, also known by the Hanson family as Papa, regarding lessons he learned as a child.       “These life lessons came mostly from my grandmother, Louise.   My grandfather and grandmother were named John and Louise. I worked for my grandmother at a very young age on the farm. I learned how to milk cows, separate the cream from the milk, I capped the milk… I had to clean out the barns. That was my responsibility. I had to take the manure and spread it around. That would cultivate the land…. My grandmother imparted a lot of good things unto me; what I should and should not do.   For instance, when I delivered milk to residents on Fridays, I would collect the rent and give it to my grandmother when I got back. One thing she said to me was ‘If any of the residents or patrons don’t give you money right away, you can assume they don’t have the money to...

(0:00-1:00) In high school I had a pretty skewed idea of what it meant to be a woman. I wore a lot of makeup and cared about appearance… I knew judgmental women and was beaten into submission, I felt like I had to be a certain way and fit into a mold to be acceptable. I remember being told by friends when I was 14 or 15 that I should be wearing darker makeup and commenting on what and how much I ate at the lunch table … **These were the years where Netflix became popular and all the 2000s TV shows were available for streaming… and if you’ve noticed in all 2000s TV shows women are always beautiful and perfect and sexualized, it felt like women were always portrayed as like perfect and as love interests for men, or they were total judgmental snakes. Definitely toxic content for an adolescent girl, but these were my on-screen role models. I became a product of unrealistic societal expectations.  I was miserable     (1:00-2:00) When I got to college I had a total revolution o...

12/10/19   -Unremarkable- I feel safe knowing That I am smaller than you, Oh beautiful Earth   -Complex Relationship with Materialism- To get everything Is to have nothing at all. Things have no meaning    -^cont.- Your materials Mean as much as you decide Let go of objects   -Learning Selflessness- To extend oneself To make others happier Shows one’s character   -What I Thought was Love was Deception- Never will I feel Quite the same way with them As I do with you   -Ingrained Societal Sexism- Don’t you dare treat me As a low, unworthy girl. Do not doubt my mind.  

Taking care of me Means sunlight and small adventures I still feel alive

I have always found that I am my most confident, and powerful self when I am running. It feels like when I go out for a run, I am conquering some kind of small battle; I get that rush of dopamine every time I set a small goal for how far I want to run or how fast, and complete that goal. It is one of the smallest, most simple pleasures in my life, that is simultaneously such a big part of my identity.  The thing I love most about running is that I feel entirely in control when I do it. I have always been obsessed with control, sometimes to a fault (thank you, anxiety!). With running, though, the feeling of control is not forced. The control comes from a complete understanding and synchronicity between my body and my mind. I feel completely present and in tune with what I am feeling while I am pushing myself to move forward. There is not better feeling than finally finding a rhythm of body movement and breath while chugging along a road or trail, feeling like you are on top of the w...

“Saudade. Ah, yes, the national word of Portugal. They say saudade is unique to Portuguese, impossible to define in English. Nostalgia gets pretty close, but saudade is more complicated. It’s the remnant of gratitude and bliss that something happened, but the simultaneous devastation that it has gone and will never happen again. It marries the feelings of happy wistfulness and poignant melancholy, anticipation, and hopelessness. It’s universally understood by a cross-ocean culture with a constant feeling of absence, a yearning for the return of something now gone.” - Mari Andrew I had never felt connected to the song “Wagon Wheel” until the final few hours of the last outing club trip I will ever lead. Spring LT had ended, and we were on our way back home to UNH on a chilly Sunday morning. As always, it had been a weekend of learning, laughing, eating, and team building in Franky Cabin for old and new leaders, alike. I felt fulfilled, yet somehow also very sad.  There was a part of...

     Hello, and welcome! My name is Adrienne and I am finally going to start the blog I have been meaning to create since 2018. While in quarantine (and as a VERY new college grad), I have been feeling antsy and like my writing voice is not getting the exercise that it needs. Maybe it's because I don't have any assignments or articles to complete, or maybe it's because I have a lot more time to write as a leisure activity... but no matter the cause, I am finally feeling ready to BLOG.       Starting something like this has seemed so daunting every time I've thought about doing it. The time commitment, the vulnerability, the forced break from frying my brain scrolling through Instagram (I am an addict), and the list goes on. BUT! Here we are, finally.      What will I be blogging about? That's an excellent question, and a quandary I have not entirely figured out. It's safe to say that this blog will be broadly about life in general and so...